I’m falling headlong into something I know I shouldn’t. I can’t seem to stop myself; there are no brakes. I want and I feel that I need, but I can’t justify.
I spend all my waking moments thinking of the what ifs and the should have done this kind of thoughts.
I should have leaned softly against you and touched you, there on the skin your rolled up sleeve exposed. I was fascinated by the very thought of touching you like that. What if I had simply laid my hand on your arm, there on your bare skin. Would you have felt the electricity that I felt? Would you have stayed close to me, or moved closer? Maybe you would have found the strength to move away….
I should have laid my hand on your skin, wrapped my fingers lightly about your wrist and looked into your eyes. I should have let you see me. I should have looked into your eyes and shared the secret thoughts and desires in my heart and head.
I thought about it a thousand or more times. I was afraid. Not afraid of the wanting I might see in your eyes, that would have been the delight to my soul! I was afraid you would turn away and leave me with my wanting of you.
I was afraid that prudence, would win. The attempt at being intelligent, doing the right thing and not moving on this path…I was afraid of that.
Wanting you consumes me. I ache and I want. I cannot sleep nor can I rid myself of the desire for you with another..it burns too brightly.