So I've been attempting on and off to write a book or even a short story. My writing usually is driven by passion of some sort. Pain is usually the 'passion of choice'. So when I attempt to write I get drivel. I used to write a lot and people usually would tell me that I should publish this or that. Well; I wrote when I hurt and when I was sad. I realized that I was incredibly sad a few years ago and sought medical help. I ended up on medication that I truly did not want to take, but much to my surprise; changed me forever. Not into a zombie or lacking anything (or so I thought) but into a happier more positive person no longer seeing the doom and gloom in every corner of my world. My complaint about that came when I would attempt to write. I would sit and the words would not flow from my fingertips. Usually, as now, when I write; it simply happens. I don't THINK it like you would think or rehearse something you would say; but it literally flows from my brain to my fingers to the keys on the keyboard. Sure, I go back with my brain and edit, but not much. I know when I've written something really well because I'll read it and it will stir emotion in me. Those are always without fail; the things people tell me I should publish. The topic and story that keep popping out; are far from what I would choose to write. It is the oddest feeling to have this happen, like my will against my creative side. :) I suppose there is some latent thing in my mind or heart waiting to pour out; so I will give it voice and possibly it will go away!

All this to say that today and the rest of this week perhaps; I am going to write; it is a personal goal I have set. Interesting thing though. Every single attempt I make comes back to writing something that I would never read and thought I'd never write. Like there is something lurking around waiting to pour out. I've heard writers and artists speak of creating things that are from inside them or inside the medium of their art. Perhaps this is it. I personally think what keeps coming out is so much blather. So; my short term plan is to make the writing happen. I need a certain amount of environmental peace to accomplish that and that my friends, seldom happens for me. Once I write this 'drivel' I plan to post it to hopefully get some honest opinions from you; the readers of my humble little blog.